Brussels Sprouts, one…

Ian Hutson
sprout
Sainsbury’s just sent me exactly what I (assume that I) accidentally ordered – a single, lovingly-chosen, carefully-wrapped barcoded Brussels Sprout… £0.04

Just had a Sainsbury’s delivery (met them in the marina car park).

Apparently I cocked up in re the Brussels Sprouts. Where I thought I’d ordered one large pre-packed bag of sprouts they had me down as ordering ONE SPROUT.

They delivered it. Bagged. Labeled. Bar-coded.

It’s a very nice Brussels Sprout.

I don’t think I could cook it though, it would be like eating an orphan.

Besides, what exactly is the cooking time for one sprout?

Be careful what you ask for at Mammonmas; ask the wrong people and you’ll very probably get it!

I’m just glad that I didn’t order any “long waits” or a “fresh bubble for the spirit level” or perhaps a “heftykickupthearse”.

On a serious note, someone at Sainsbury’s thought that selecting and bagging a single sprout and sending it to the customer without any attempt at checking for cock-ups was a good idea…

[I am assuming, of course, that it was my cock-up, and not theirs.]

Ho ho ruddy ho, what?

The Cardinal is virtually a sprout-free zone. I am almost sproutless.

Trouble is, you can’t really make Boxing Day hash without cold sprouts. I shall have to work wonders with cabbage instead.

Hopefully Mr Father Christmas won’t be quite so literal in his interpretation of my letter to him in re what I’d like to see under the tree on Christmas morning.

Note to self; prepare a shovel and some sawdust, just in case he is as literal as Sainsbury’s.

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27 Comments

    1. Deadly serious, sadly. I still can’t understand how anyone would think that picking and packing a solo sprout was a good idea, bound to end in positive publicity for the supermarket! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I reckon it’s customers like you that cheer up the workers in the packing and delivery departments! Maybe they thought you were 1 sprout short of a Christmas dinner? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re not wrong there, I think it has to be cooked somehow. Would be a shame for it to survive a journey all on its own and then be ignored. Olive oil, a touch of garlic and possibly the frying pan may be called into action… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Has it come to this, then? Is the sprout shortage so severe that we must order them by the one? Are you sure you’ve got your ration book up to date, old sport?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. One sprout this week – half a sprout next week… I wouldn’t mind, but I am one of nature’s natural sprout-lovers! Such a maligned vegetable and so many more might have found solace, comfort and consumption with me… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh my, that is hilarious somebody went to that effort to wrap a single sprout. It must have been a temp, and not a particularly clever one 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I think a brussel is for life, not just for Christmas. This heroic brussel has been ripped from it’s stalk and sent out to a life of uncertainty – it must be preserved at all costs! I suggest mounting it on a plinth, varnish for preservation and keep in remembrance of this day i.e. can be exhibited as an ornament and provide a talking point at future parties on the Cardinal. Conversely I like the janmalique starter! On a positive note it may reduce the wind factor aboard your vessel this Christmas!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. There is the benefit of reduced windypops, as you say – but also no sprout & HP Sauce sandwiches… I keep hearing the BeeGees track, ‘Tragedy…’

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Finely sliced and fried in olive oil with pancetta, a little seasoning, garlic and served on a bed of buttery mash.
    This may serve as a starter. I loathe sprouts but your tale tugged at my heart. 😏

    Liked by 5 people

  12. That is exactly what I would buy. Whenever I make soup that needs green things, I will always buy a sprout.

    You can easily make Boxing Day Hash with pre-cooked cabbage.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I quite liked the way the delivery man unloaded the rest of my groceries order and then very ceremonially handed over the little bag with my sprout in it! At least I will have given them a laugh in the packing department… 😉

      Liked by 4 people

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