Brussels Sprouts, one…

on
sprout
Sainsbury’s just sent me exactly what I (assume that I) accidentally ordered – a single, lovingly-chosen, carefully-wrapped barcoded Brussels Sprout… £0.04

Just had a Sainsbury’s delivery (met them in the marina car park).

Apparently I cocked up in re the Brussels Sprouts. Where I thought I’d ordered one large pre-packed bag of sprouts they had me down as ordering ONE SPROUT.

They delivered it. Bagged. Labeled. Bar-coded.

It’s a very nice Brussels Sprout.

I don’t think I could cook it though, it would be like eating an orphan.

Besides, what exactly is the cooking time for one sprout?

Be careful what you ask for at Mammonmas; ask the wrong people and you’ll very probably get it!

I’m just glad that I didn’t order any “long waits” or a “fresh bubble for the spirit level” or perhaps a “heftykickupthearse”.

On a serious note, someone at Sainsbury’s thought that selecting and bagging a single sprout and sending it to the customer without any attempt at checking for cock-ups was a good idea…

[I am assuming, of course, that it was my cock-up, and not theirs.]

Ho ho ruddy ho, what?

The Cardinal is virtually a sprout-free zone. I am almost sproutless.

Trouble is, you can’t really make Boxing Day hash without cold sprouts. I shall have to work wonders with cabbage instead.

Hopefully Mr Father Christmas won’t be quite so literal in his interpretation of my letter to him in re what I’d like to see under the tree on Christmas morning.

Note to self; prepare a shovel and some sawdust, just in case he is as literal as Sainsbury’s.

ap1070868

27 Comments

  1. Skilbey says:

    Loving the humour of the sprout picker…it must be humour, right?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ian Hutson says:

      Deadly serious, sadly. I still can’t understand how anyone would think that picking and packing a solo sprout was a good idea, bound to end in positive publicity for the supermarket! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I reckon it’s customers like you that cheer up the workers in the packing and delivery departments! Maybe they thought you were 1 sprout short of a Christmas dinner? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ian Hutson says:

      One sprout short of a christmas dinner is an apt description. In fact, it’s printed on the inside of my passport… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  3. noelleg44 says:

    I can’t believe you got one sprout only. I would have it for a tiny hors d’eouvre. Cut it in half, rub it with olive oil and grill it!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ian Hutson says:

      You’re not wrong there, I think it has to be cooked somehow. Would be a shame for it to survive a journey all on its own and then be ignored. Olive oil, a touch of garlic and possibly the frying pan may be called into action… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  4. marianallen says:

    Has it come to this, then? Is the sprout shortage so severe that we must order them by the one? Are you sure you’ve got your ration book up to date, old sport?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ian Hutson says:

      One sprout this week – half a sprout next week… I wouldn’t mind, but I am one of nature’s natural sprout-lovers! Such a maligned vegetable and so many more might have found solace, comfort and consumption with me… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  5. MG Mason says:

    Oh my, that is hilarious somebody went to that effort to wrap a single sprout. It must have been a temp, and not a particularly clever one 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ian Hutson says:

      The delivery driver held the bag delicately between thumb and forefinger, as though he were passing me some long lost Fabergé egg…

      Liked by 4 people

  6. When I first saw your sprout, I saw slaw!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ian Hutson says:

      Now there’s a thought – a thimble’s worth of shredded winter greens, steamed, seasoned and wolfed down with gravy! 😉

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Pat McDonald says:

    I think a brussel is for life, not just for Christmas. This heroic brussel has been ripped from it’s stalk and sent out to a life of uncertainty – it must be preserved at all costs! I suggest mounting it on a plinth, varnish for preservation and keep in remembrance of this day i.e. can be exhibited as an ornament and provide a talking point at future parties on the Cardinal. Conversely I like the janmalique starter! On a positive note it may reduce the wind factor aboard your vessel this Christmas!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Ian Hutson says:

      There is the benefit of reduced windypops, as you say – but also no sprout & HP Sauce sandwiches… I keep hearing the BeeGees track, ‘Tragedy…’

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Sue Vincent says:

    Perfect… though for quite what, I am none too sure 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ian Hutson says:

      A christmas feast – for a mouse, possibly! Or maybe a “nouvelle cuisine” style meal, with tiny portions… 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Sue Vincent says:

        I have encountered such culinary abominations…

        Liked by 1 person

  9. janmalique says:

    Finely sliced and fried in olive oil with pancetta, a little seasoning, garlic and served on a bed of buttery mash.
    This may serve as a starter. I loathe sprouts but your tale tugged at my heart. 😏

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Ian Hutson says:

      Now that sounds tasty – and I may well do just that, thank you!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. janmalique says:

        Thus has made my day, glad I could help a distressed sprout.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
    Please leave your favourite Single Brussel Sprout recipes for Ian in his original blog post comments 😄😄😄

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ian Hutson says:

      At the moment I am torn between boiling, steaming, roasting or just holding in chopsticks over a candle for thirty seconds!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Let’s see what other recipes turn up Ian – makes you wonder what their interpretation of Meat and Two Veg would be 😄😄

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Toffeeapple says:

    That is exactly what I would buy. Whenever I make soup that needs green things, I will always buy a sprout.

    You can easily make Boxing Day Hash with pre-cooked cabbage.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ian Hutson says:

      I quite liked the way the delivery man unloaded the rest of my groceries order and then very ceremonially handed over the little bag with my sprout in it! At least I will have given them a laugh in the packing department… 😉

      Liked by 4 people

      1. Toffeeapple says:

        I expect it made his day!

        Liked by 1 person

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