Big Brave Boater’s Bucolic Bedtime Bottom Bitten by Bad Boat-Biting Badger – Guest Post by Ian Hutson…

There are no photographs to accompany this account, as you will understand from reading it. I have instead provided some images of the peaceful locations that my narrowboat Cardinal Wolsey and I generally moor up in. I am not fond of towns, and towns are not fond of me, so we generally gravitate to the countryside, the farther and deeper into it the better. This policy though is not without its problems.

Winter here in England this year has been likened to someone in an argument who keeps storming back into the room, waggling a finger and saying ‘…and another thing!’ It is the season that just won’t go away. …please  read the rest on The Story-Reading Ape’s Blog, link immediately below:

via Big Brave Boater’s Bucolic Bedtime Bottom Bitten by Bad Boat-Biting Badger – Guest Post by Ian Hutson…


  1. WordPress have beaten me into submission, merrymumbles, I am… Still winter in Lincolnshire, but never fear, I am still walking the walks with the dog, complaining about blocked footpaths and footpath signs (through crop fields) which have been removed, I fear that I am either mutating into Victoria Meldrew, or you.. Elainexxx

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    1. The spirit of Victor Meldrew lives on in me. I like to think of it as a responsibility to the world. Let me know when you begin looking for wooden benches to sit down on while you lash at the sparrows and starlings with your walking stick… 🙂


  2. Poor Mr. Badger. All he wanted was an easy meal and to clean up the area for you. Keep you from having to deal with it. Just doing his civic duty. Instead he nearly drowned himself. Imagine his shock at being in the water and then suddenly it’s daylight and your horn starts blaring. He probably thought he was in hell.

    I blame you, Ian. If you would just sleep through these minor disturbances he wouldn’t be dealing with a case of PTSD right now. Honestly. Next time you hear someone breaking in, roll over and go back to sleep.

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    1. I am indeed an ingrate of the seventh order. Changes have been made to the switches for the floodlights and horn, and they now operate soothing music and rainbow sparkles in pastel shades, with glitter… 🙂 Actually, I am very, very grateful to Mr Badger for rescuing himself – it would have been a puzzle and a disconvenience had I found him still in the water. How the hecky heck does one rescue a belligerent badger? I have little to no idea…

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  3. Oh my goodness this was indeed a ‘belly wobbler’ (and believe me i have…..well less of that) was crying with laughter. This was a script worthy of a film short if ever I read one. I do look forward to my Sunday reads. That picture is incredible by the way! Me being a sensitive soul kept wondering how close to civilisation were you moored or if there were any other boatees nearby, but then I could visualise some trembling neighbours quivering in the dark (illuminated by the above mentioned) saying, Uh-oh, he’s at it again!” Sleep tight, hope your badgers don’t bite!

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