Rainbows, autumnal breezes, six pins, four ropes and two “care-in-the-community” so far today. #narrowboat #England

Ian Hutson

After a few days of somewhat vigorous autumnal breezes the Arsenal Villa end of Storm Callum has arrived, bringing with him 8/8ths thick grey cloud, lashing rain and 50mph+ winds. [Meteorological Office; Storm Callum.] Eire is getting a kicking, as are the more Atlantic portions of England, and tis set to continue tomorrow as well.

Wind12102018Audlem

The Cardinal’s solar panels are fasting.

Being of sound mind (the same can’t be said for the body) I have us on four ropes and six pins, topside has been cleared of loose items (lifebelt &etc) and we are away from trees.

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Two at the bow, two at the stern.

As is usual, we are also away – far, far away – from other boats, people and small but perfectly formed goats. The last boat packed up and left for their marina mooring yesterday just before dusk, and the Cardinal sits in his usual splendid, slightly disconcerting, isolation.

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Right-Clickez-vous for a slightly larger version.

Dusk yesterday brought with it a magnificent, full-crescent rainbow and, yes, I made a wish but no, to the best of my knowledge it hasn’t yet been fulfilled.

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Yes, it really is always brighter inside the crescent than without. It also seems to be darker “inside” the secondary rainbow, or lighter “outside”, or something.

Regretfully, we are not yet clear of Audlem. As “Sunnydale” was to Buffy’s “Hell mouth” (Hellmouth?) so Audlem seems to be to “Care in the community”. Two boats have just cruised past, both with persons at the tiller ranting to the world, ranting to themselves, ranting to anyone and anything around and about. Self-ranters. Damaged people. More damaged people. Insane people out in insane weather.

The Cardinal and I usually wear a cloak-of-invisibility, but these creatures see right through it. We seem to be unusually visible.

I am fed up with people who blink sideways and are trailing frayed canvas straps.

I am done with “caring”, and I now, quite seriously, advocate euthanasia.

Yesterday’s setting sun was determined to stare at me even as it sank through the trees.

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A curry for lunch (perhaps with added brimstone) will cheer up this peculiar day.

I must make sure that the fumes don’t attract anything…

Nothing larger than a desperate squirrel, anyway.

There was a near-deceased hornet in the cold ashes of the stove yesterday. When I pulled the tray out to re-light the beast he was lumbering through the grey ash like a small version of Sigourney Weaver’s “Alien”. Thank you, Mr Universe, I so, so needed that. I have no idea how the hornet is doing now, I left him in the hedgerow to fend for himself. Can only think that it must have flown down the stove flue in search of either somewhere to warm up or somewhere to die, or both. Perhaps he had had enough of Audlem and had been trying for immolation? Understandable enough, if he was.

Next year is ear-marked for a spot of paintwork on the boat, and I am increasingly thinking “camouflage”. What do you reckon would be more effective, khaki and dull green splodges or perhaps a boat painted up with crosses and slogans? “May I introduce you to my mate, Mr Jesus?”, that sort of thing.

T-shirts of that nature are rumoured to be a guarantee of a seat to oneself on the bus, even what the USAeans call “the short bus”.

Ho hum.

Now, rice or naan bread?

Or both.

Extra chilli and extra garlic are a given.

😉

15 Comments

  2. The above comments have made me smile, for which I am alwasys thankful; but I must remark upon the beauty of your weather pictures, they are stunning and I thank you for letting us see them. Have a jolly weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank’ee kindly! Living on a boat is an …experience. Sometimes an experience requiring me to curl up into the foetal position and to suck my thumb! 🙂

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  3. I needed that giggle! What amazing photography! I didn’t realise about the lightness inside etc. you learn something every day. Although I laughed long and hard at your fatal attraction for the alternative folk, it has been one of my particular afflictions all my life – if there is a fruitbat anywhere to be found it would be near, next, infront, behind, at the side of me! I am told I have a trusting face! Or maybe it’s the tattoo on my forehead that reads ‘if you have any problem, ailment or alternative reality please engage me in conversation’ I find it always does the trick!

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    1. I blame my mother. She could and usually did talk to anyone, anytime about anything. I must realise that it is no longer possible (or safe) to do so. There has to be a Paul McKenna hypnosis CD out there to help with this – “How to look utterly unapproachable, or even slightly dangerous” – do not listen to this CD while driving or operating machinery… 🙂

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      1. I did once listen to the ‘reduce weight’ hypnosis DVD of that gentleman McKenna. I thought a 10 minutes relax before I ventured out would do nicely; unfortunately I am one of those folk who are easily hypnotised and by the time he counted down to release me it was forty minutes later. I was late leaving the house!

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  4. I think in the grim mood you are in, you need both the naan and the rice. All the comforting starches you can get your hands on.
    As much as you gripe about the place, it strikes me as gorgeous. And not just because of the amazing rainbow.

    I hope you survive the storm and it is followed by a windless period of at least a week. I know you don’t want to move on the weekend when all the idiots are boating or at least floating anyway. Perhaps Monday will be sunny after all, windless and a pleasant 60F. It’s not like the weather folk are all that good at predicting.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I rationed myself to the rice (and a lion’s share of curry). 🙂 Audlem is indeed a lovely place, but I think that I am oozing nutjob-weirdo attraction pheromones or something at the moment – I may scrub with carbolic soap later, to see if that has any effect.

      Just been rammed by a boat with four “gentlemen” aboard. They seemed to think that it was the fault of “the wind” and that they had nowt to do with it… I was polite, but I shall hunt them down and kill them all later tonight. I didn’t kill them, Officer – my shotgun did.

      What was it that someone, somewhere, once said? Hell isn’t a place, it’s other people!

      Atcherly – if I AM oozing nutjob-weirdo pheromones then I’d better think long and hard about what that says about me… oops. 😉

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  5. You could hang bunches of garlic around your boat, or, do the black and white zagged stripes that were used to confuse the U Boats before the advent of radar, or, tie bushes around the Cardinal (that might confuse the charcoal supply boat somewhat though – disembodied voices from floating bushes would be a bit disconcerting I suppose) 😎

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    1. Actually I quite warm to the tying bushes idea – thinking rolls of tall reeds that I could wrap around us once moored up. Unless they looked closely folk might think that we are just a patch of vegetation that hasn’t been cut back… that, sir, is a damned good idea! 🙂

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        1. That’s a chance I am increasingly willing to take! I wonder if a new outfit would help me, too – some combination of lederhosen, pith helmet and Vicar’s “dog-collar”… There surely has to be a fair to middling chance that such an outfit would allow me to go about my business unmolested.

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