Baked On Board – my time as a prisoner of the pizza boat #narrowboat #boating #bakedonboard #pizza

It is truly gob-smacking what may be found roaming around England’s canals.

Sometimes, it’s also lip-smacking.

This is the “pizza boat” – Baked on Board.

I kid you not, there really is a narrowboat roaming the system with a ruddy great wood-fired pizza oven on the bow.

It did make me think of poor Patrick McGoohan though, trapped in the television series “The Prisoner“, chased relentlessly by that bouncing white sphere…

I too ended up flat on my face in a food coma. TBH accompanying the pizza with two double gins from the Venetian Hire Boats & Chandlery didn’t help matters in re remaining upright.

ThePrisonerRover
Poor Mr McGoohan.

Seriously.

How civilised is this? Where’ere the pizza boat moors and opens its doors you can oik up, bung in your order from the extensive, caters-for-all menu, and the chaps aboard will begin to bang out the pizza base from fresh, home-made dough, bung on the “toppings” and bake it to perfection in a gen-yoo-ine wood-fired pizza wotnot.

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Baked on Board – the “pizza boat”. Wood-fired oven, the freshest of fresh ingredients.

Fresh ingredients, the perfect touch of wood-smoke and crispynessnous, and all served up by a couple of Hell’s Cherubs*.

[*Hell’s Cherubs are a bit like Hell’s Angels but instead of leather they wear white linen aprons and wash their hands a lot.]

There is though no truth in the rumours that they are about to (quite literally) launch a delivery service using jet-skis.

They roam up and down the Shropshire Union canal and this corner of the system – which is, coincidentally, one of my most favouritist areas of canal anyway. Fortuitous or what?

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Baked on Board. The “pizza boat”.

We’re short of nowt that we’ve got, here on t’canals.

Eckythump.

Mind you, should I ever see that spherical white oven bouncing along the towpath and shouting ‘Wot? No anchovies?’ you will excuse me if I shout ‘I am not a number; I AM A FREE MAN!’ and then run as fast as my size-elevens can take me.

On an entirely unconnected note I offer the following photograph as alarming evidence of the terrible truth of the NHS advice that one really ought not to swallow one’s bubblegum.

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Whilst it may be true that “too much vinegar will dry up your blood” it is NOT true that “if you swallow bubblegum or chewing gum it will wrap around your heart”. It will however, make it almost impossible to sit down with any dignity.

Honestly. If you’re ever anywhere near the pizza boat “Baked on Board” – and you ought to make sure that you often are in its vi-cin-it-ee – then get stuck in.

It’s amazing what you can find on the canals.

Chin-chin.

Ian H.

8 Comments

  1. Fabulous! Loved the last shot of moody McGoohan and the brilliant caption. By the way, you can buy those jackets at Portmeirion for a small fortune.

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  2. I am not a fan of pizza, too bready for me. But nice that you can get one if you want it. I do wonder about their insurance though – having been a Broker in my distant past. Still – I am sure they must have some!

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    1. Tis a very professional-looking installation indeed, so I imagine they’ve had their Boat Safety Sustifticate test and passed with flying (cruising) colours! Insurance is a curious concept, I often wonder whether the dinosaurs were insured against Extinction-Level Events, and who paid for the (ex-)ships of the Spainish Armada. 😉

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    1. Pat – you’re the only person in England, the rest of us are holograms…

      😉 We used to be holoounces until metrication. Metricisation. Metricism. Until we ditched Imperial.

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    1. I like mobile retailers, I have fond fond fond memories of the grocer’s van that used to call once a week when we lived out in the middle of nowhere on Lewis. 😉

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