To wit to woo two oh two oh uh-oh oh no na na na na hey hey hey #narrowboat #boating #boatsthattweet

It’s the oneth of the oneth – time for my shower, and a change of underwear.

Then I’ll don my (synthetic) leathers and go for a long, hard ride on my hover-bike.

Perhaps I shall fly me to the Moon and back. It’s good to check in with the colonies every once in a while, but Mars is a little too far for a pleasure-jaunt, I’ll take the boat there later in the week.

Where is the Jetsons lifestyle that I was promised?

My early-morning sunshine. The sun barely traverses a quarter of the compass at this time of year, here, and stays low to the horizon.

The first sunrise of this new Human Calendar year, and splendid it is too. The Met Office predicted grey and gloom, and indeed that’s what we got to begin with, then Mr Sunshine put in an appearance with a backdrop of a slightly dodgy, hazy blue sky. Who knows? My solar panels may feed yet. Feed, little ones, feed.

Yes, I see you, but only through miles and miles of soggy atmosphere.

There is …weather… on the horizon, and the table may be cleared sooner than wished.

Ah, yes – I had wondered where the B*stard Universe was in all of this. Briefly absent, it seems. No sooner had I typed the previous paragraph than the sunshine was extinguished, the blue dispensed with and we returned to a clouded twilight barely strong enough to keep the vampires in their coffins.

Mr Sun, looking more like a monochrome Jupiter or Saturn-sans-rings every day.
The moment I typed of blue sky a Government man appeared, with a Cloud Spray.

Oh well, it was pleasant while it lasted, and one mustn’t grumble. The local git of a swan didn’t grumble. This is a shame, for liking swans as I do I had hoped that some Lord of The Manor had enjoyed Swan-au-Vin or Swan Wellington or some such for his mid-winter feast.

Mr Miserable-and-Violent. A heady combination. He keeps flying up and down past the Cardinal this morning, landing first one way and then the other. I think that it may some sort of challenge.

Perhaps Swan Fingers with chips and garden peas, or Swan-on-Toast or Swan & Kidney Pie, or any one of the other decent and respectable uses for these creatures.

But no. Of course not. Swan intactus. Swan vitae.

Swan Vesta.

New Years Eve, I hear you cry. What of it? I arranged mine next to a blazing Mr Stove and with a dazzling combination for entertainment;

New Year’s Eve entertainments. Add stove and recline.

I began and finished re-reading The Body in the Library, and I have plenty of the amber nectar remaining with which to accompany The Moving Finger, A Murder is Announced and the 4:50 from Paddington, at my leisure.

At midnight I woke to the Sounds of The Somme, drew the blinds and watched the fireworks displays on the horizon. Not bad. Thank you, Nantwich, thank you Crewe.

The day today may well have turned dullen-grey (a Government shade, much in evidence in England these days) but I remain proud of my solar panels. They gather all that may be gathered, and we do our best by the Battery Twins (the Cardinal and I get by on two 135Ah domestics, and a certain economy of design of use). A battery-temperature-adjusted “float state” for twelve out of the previous thirty days in the depths of the solar winter season, not bad, and all reasonably spaced for the best chemical health that might be expected, all things considered, even if all things not equal.


I think that today, though, we’ve had all that we’re going to get from the magic.


So, a new Human Calendar year, eh? What shall we all do with it, I wonder.

What would Miss Marple do with it?

Take a spot of whisky with her breakfast, probably, and then shoot the Vicar.

Wherever you are, no matter how peculiar you are, do, please, have a splendid twenty-twenty. 🙂 Peace, love, goodwill and do have a cigar, to a significant proportion of you all. As to the rest, well, to paraphrase Mr John George Haigh, if you’re not in solution by the end of the year then you’ll still be part of the problem.

We live, as ever, in interesting times. This is a mystery too, since those who affect, effect and generally feature themselves in these times are the least interesting folk to have ever bellowed “feed me” on this planet. Father Nature has a distinctly acid sense of humour – sixty thousand years of rabid behavioural evolution, and then the human species considers itself somehow “led” by, well – pick a public “name”, any name! The Society of the Human Species has, by and large, modelled itself on a duck-billed platypus walking backwards, looking constantly over its shoulder and illuminating its way by lighting its own farts. One poorly-timed hiccough and the reversed pressure will suck in the vapours and we’ll blow ourselves to bits, one unfortunately-timed sneeze and we’ll blast-incinerate the whole jungle.

You’ve got to laugh.

No, seriously, its the law.


Ian H., and Cardinal W.


  1. We actually had a few of those sunbeam-y things here yesterday too … then the rain came back … and stayed … and required minor flood warnings for the hoi Polloi to ignore as usual.
    Happy New decade to you and his eminence. 😀


    1. It is very undignified of folk, lurching about the place affecting things and effecting much more, or much less, or sometimes nothing much at all. As one firmly planted in the Peasant Division, Third Foot & Mouth, I lack the opportunity myself. 😉

      A very happy New Year to you and yours, dear Sir or Madam.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy New Year to you and the Caardinal…not forgetting Mr. Stove and the solar panels.
    I think that those running these ‘interesting times’ have been trained by the Shaddocks…a cult French T.V. thing from the sixties. Here’s a link with an English explanation.
    So if there is no solution, it is because there is no problem. Boris Johnson to the life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. And a very happy new year to you to! In re the country, I think that it may be me that has lost the plot – I can’t think of any other plausible explanation. I shall wake up soon, in a nice, soothing-green hospital ward, wearing one of those canvas jackets that buttons up at the back…


      Liked by 1 person

  3. At least you saw the sun once this year, it must feel promising – the fog here has cleared to a fine hazy misty dullness and my old bones can feel the snow hovering somewhere that snow hovers. It does not make it any easier to force the many ‘happy new years’ out for an airing. Cherish Mr Stove we all may need his cheery glow! Keep the home fires burning!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. January and February to come yet, winter’s not done methinks.

      A silly number of boats have been up and down today, fine weather sailors out in the fine weather.

      I wished them all a merry ger’on’yer’way. 😉


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