Dudley is here, Eunice is on the way, Franklin is Next … awaiting only Gladys & Herman

We scarpered, the Cardinal and I, this past Monday. Our rozzer-free time in “the neighbourhood” was up and the Met Office, they who purchase the weather on our behalf, indicated a less-rotten spell in the morning. I ended up, as doubtless planned by Messrs Universe, a cold, wind-blasted, drowned rat, but we got the job done. Watered, gazundered, roobish disposed of and moored somewhere with roaring mings, armco, and some mild cover but no huge trees.

Three of your Earth “miles”, three “service” visits – at that time of the dayling different places does do diffrent fings, and three locks (one twice, up and then down, to achieve a., turning without being a pantomime for the marina and b., visiting the water tap a-top the lock).

Just made it by the tin of my skeeth. The last visitation of the cruise-ette involved a simple move from one side the canal to t’other… except, of course, that this was the precise moment when a delicious squall rose up blowing against us. The manoeuvre wasn’t pretty, but it was done. I flew the Cardinal for five or ten like a kite on the centreline, but by simple dint of some zen-minded leaning into the rope while watching the clouds go by we eventually got to where we wam going. You can’t rush a boat when it’s gone for walkies and wants to sniff something on the opposite bank.

Tuesday of course was damned near sunny and mild with light and barely-amusing breezes.


A Cardinal at the Watering Hole.

The replacement batteroid for the MiFi unit has arrived – the one coming from Portsmouth, that is, not the one that (only) after purchase decided that it was coming from Mainland China and would be a month or so. Thank’ee kindly for parcelling the take-in, you know who you are. 😉

T’would appear that I now may access the interwebnettings without hanging the “spare” router in a plastic bag outside under the cratch cover, where it dangled like some enormous doggy-poop bag on artistic display. The remote alarms and cctv are back online again, even though speeds around here are – without moaning, I truly appreciate what I’ve got – a tad pedestrian.

I have no idea whereabouts the local mobile mast may be. No idea what lies betwixt it and the external, boosted aerial.

Yestereday and yestereve were in the decided dominion of Dudley, with some interesting winds. Walkies proved to be… refreshing, with the wind in my face, and then on the return… interesting, with the wind up my

my my but wasn’t it muddy too, after the rains (down in A-a-a-frica).

To-morrow we shall be in the grip of Eunice, and from the looks of things Dear Eunice is an all-in wrestler who cracks walnuts with her ear-lobes and eats raw cows, unwashed.

At least, thus far, forecast, the weak of the pinds will be in daylight. I draw your beadies to the gusts of some fifty-eight of the Earth Miles per Hour. Because I can and why might I not we are on four ropes, two doubled up, using two mooring rings and two chains. The Cardinal’s roof is rarely busy but what may be cleared has been cleared, and that which may not be cleared has been tied down. The rear tonneau is more bungee than cover, the cratch is open to all three sides (least resistance for the presenting of). We shall see tomorrow; damp squib or Doomsday Machine.

Yes, raised a tad on an embankment leading to an aqueduct, but there are roaring mings and armco, and the rise means that Her Majesty’s trees, already not the largest in existence, have their roots below the bank of the canal.

Is it possible to have a Doomsday Machine named ‘Gladys’ or ‘Herman’? The Met Office obviously think so, their list here. I detest this silliness of “naming” weather events, it is but one small step from where we are to “sponsorships”, when we will be warned of the approach of ‘Storm Coca-Cola’ and ‘Storm Johnson & Johnson’ and ‘Storm Durex’. Ugh. Given the cheap and nasty nature of England’s Establishment and Civic Infrastructure these days I just know that it’s coming.

Moan moan moan, it’s all that I ever do. 😉

When I wandered back up to the Best Chandlery on The System I purchased the basic makings of a good curry, the better to be well-fed as the Cardinal and I pay homage to Mary Poppins. I’ve also changed my shreddies and had an unusually long and notably hot shower, the better to leave a clean corpse with evidence of only “during event” soiling.

It’s all go here on the canals, you know.

Mr Bilious Gates and the other six (mental, moral) dwarves are still fiddling with my computing arrangements, but I am nowhere yet to be able to download the two gigawumps of Linux. I shall be, sometime soon, and then I shall. Meantime I mun just put up with the impression that my every keystroke is being routed for approval via some super-super-yacht moored in Monaco.

So, there you have it, the past few that was, as were. Exciteabode, much.

Wherever you may be moored may your ropes hold fast.*

*Unless you’ve been kidnapped by Baader-Meinhof, Black September or the I.R.A., in which case – what the hell are you doing back in the seventies anyway?

Chin-chin, chaps.

Ian H., and Cardinal W. Bunkered and hunkered.


    1. Thank’ee, and we’re all still here. Eunice was suddenly a long, long horrid blast, sandwiched between ho-hums. I am mightily sick of winds this winter. Everything tickettyboo where you are?

      Liked by 1 person

    1. As the song says, well the weather outside is…. puzzling, and I do wonder if it’s all part of the global “psy-op” of unreality over the past years. Bird-twittery calm, a spot of rain overnight, and – I’m sure that I’m going to regret these words – as of 08:30 hundred hours o’clock this morning, no horsemen of the pockyclypse riding across the sky. It’s all very lumpy. Have W.E.F. and W.H.O. and The Schwab School For Numbnut Past Present & Future Leaders got us all doubting the weather now too?

      When the wind finally arrives I shall be too busy eating my words to drink coffee. In my day storms in England began, stormed about a bit, then they finished – there was none of this is it isn’t it now you feel me now you don’t stuff.

      There’s a boat moored a hundred yards ahead… on pins. In a very soggy towpath. If there is a storm and it arrives here then that is unlikely to work out well.

      I shall continue to frown and to look at the sky for signs of Veracity Cumulus and Stratus Verisimilitude.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. ….aaaaaaaand heeeeeeeeere’s Eunice! Nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing WALLOP! Now got winds that want to rip the Cardinal apart just so that they can kill me and squish my remains out of existence… Horrible noises from the roof, the back tonneau cover sounds as though it’ll be ribbons, and all windows wedged shut (as well as locked) and the blinds down in case the glass goes… Oh what joy. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  1. 🤔might just recognise that there lock….
    Got to agree with you re “best chandlery” on the cut, is Susan doesn’t stock it it ain’t worth having.
    Unlucky for you on that muddy towpath as it’s all nice black stuff here.
    Keep the hatches well battened down and ride Eunice for all she’s worth!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Second busiest single lock on the cut according t’latest statistics. I think Diana Abbott may be the consultant that C&RT use for “The Count”. 😉 [Should be the busiest busiest.]


        1. ‘… Hillmorton Locks 2&3 (twinned locks) on the Oxford Canal, which saw 8,147 lockages, an increase of 37% remained the busiest locks on the English and Welsh canal system. New Marton on the Llangollen Canal was the second busiest, with a 77% increase to 7,457 lockages. Cholmondeston on the Shropshire Union Canal was in third (7,103), followed by Woodend on the Trent & Mersey Canal (6,279) and Bradford-on-Avon on the Kennet & Avon Canal (5,994). …’

          Just for the first time ever seen a bright red warning on the top of the Cyclists Anglers Ramblers Trust Ltd website telling boaters not to move because of the weather!

          Liked by 2 people

Comments are closed.