My Books

Read free samples of the currently released works by clicking on the book covers below. No sign-up, no nuffink. Links to iBooks and Smashwords appear underneath, just click on those to go to your preferred supplier.

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    1. Gadzooks and other expostulations, sir – if I had to choose one book to keep from my own ramblings, then so far it would be the latest one, The Dog With The Bakelite Nose. They’re all stand-alone collections. NGLND XPX is a celebration of the verbose, but with the later two I have been hacked back to a much more edible state! Many thanks for your interest, and if you do read any of my books then I hope that I do no lasting damage to your psyche… they are all very tongue in cheek, and ought to be read with a riding crop and a large gin nearby… 🙂

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  1. I must admit (I do admit things now and again) that I made the purchase of your book NGLND XPX from the amazonians online…I stayed befuddled for some of the tales, but did make a reprehensible mess by snorting my tea during a laughing spell brought about by “Begging Your Pardon, My Lord, But Cook’s Been Eaten Again”. It probably wasn’t meant to be funny, I highly doubt a satisfying end result of reading it should be snorting tea out of one’s nose and mouth while laughing and choking, but that seems to be the only true reaction I could employ at the time. Should I ever clear my sinuses of tea leaves I might be persuaded to make another purchase…thankfully I will have to wait until my retirement check once again magically appears in the banking establishment that I am forced to utilize.
    You probably do not wish me to do so, but I have begun following you anyway. It would be nice if the boat actually could move again free of ice so that I don’t have to stand here in the snow and cold for too terribly long a time. I am older than you and the knees tend to quake more easily these days. Carry on.

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    1. NGLND XPX is indeed befuddling – the verbosity was strong in me with that one! I let myself run free. Ten words where perhaps one might have sufficed is mayhap an understatement, but I do rather love the shape, colour, texture and feel of words when strung together in unlikely rows! I am glad that you got a laugh out of it, and I do hope that nothing too irreplaceable was stained with snorted coffee. The other books are much more restrained indeed! 🙂


  2. Hmmm, do I sense a tiny element of Jasper Fforde meets George Orwell? Two of my favorite writers. I never leave the house without a small volume of Orwell in my purse and I just opened # 7 in the Thursday Next series…

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